As we – my counselor and I – were talking one day, I shared with him how I felt I was born an adult. Life has not treated me kindly, and I ended up taking way more responsibility than is healthy for a child or adolescent. Life was a very serious thing – nothing to laugh at. Consequently, I did not laugh much. A lot of things that others of my age thought funny, were not funny or laughable to me, and I felt always the odd one out, as if something was seriously wrong with me (pun intended).
Then he asked me a question: “What is the opposite of being serious?” I fell completely silent, looked at him for a while and… burst out laughing: “I haven’t got a clue!” “Well, that tells you something right there…” Right, I got that. After ruminating over it for a bit, talking about it some more, I said: “Maybe the opposite of seriousness is joy.”
Because taking life and its circumstances way too serious squeezes the joy right out of you. Every ounce of it. I feel sucked dry in that department. It’s not that I lack a sense of humour, even if some might think so. I have my very own very defined type of humour. But the times that I really laughed? The type of belly laugh that leaves you out of breath? Where you wipe a tear or two of your cheeks? That kind of laugh? I can count those times on one hand. That’s right, one.single.hand.
And as I was mulling this over in the last couple of months of 2013 I realized I want more lightness in my life, in my heart. I want to laugh, long and deep, from my belly. I do not want to be tied down with the heaviness of being serious. I want to capture the joy of being a child, a child with no cares in the world other than being a child. A child of the Most High. One who is taken care of, who knows her Daddy can do everything. One who is able to trust her Daddy that He is there for her, no matter what. That He never leaves or forsakes her. What is more, that her Daddy delights in her, like really, really likes her, is awfully fond of her and that she knows, like deep down in her heart, that she is His beloved. Forever.
Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah, and thy land Beulah: for the LORD delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married. Isaiah 62 : 4
So for this year, I will focus on JOY – in all its facets and beauty and glory. I am so looking forward to it!
What is your word for this year?